Wednesday, October 31, 2012

30 in 30 - Day 30: Mario Lemieux - The Best. Ever.

Here it is.  The end of the journey.  30 documentaries in 30 days.

Unfortunately, I'm going out with a whimper.

I may need to call one final Halloween audible in order to end on a high note.

Tonight's film - Mario Lemieux: The Best. Ever.

Mario Lemieux - The Best. Ever. (2005)
66 mins.
Rated: NR (this'd be a G - no question)

"Pittsburgh Penguins Captain and Hall of Famer Mario Lemieux Career Highlights DVD portraying his fantastic on ice moments including rarely seen moments, goals, goals, goals and more goals."  (source: iso)

Link to the movie - I watched it online via youtube.

Have you ever purchased something...maybe a box of hockey cards, opened them up and then had instant regret?  Have you ever been severely disappointed with the short end of the stick in a hockey card trade?

This doc is for you then.  You've already felt the pain.

I will go out and say right now - this is the worst sports documentary I've ever seen.  Period.

In fact, this in my opinion isn't even a's a highlight reel.  An hour long highlight reel.

It says the film was made in 2005....but they must have used early 90's technology.  Everything about this movie is horrible.

Ready for my review?

We start with a very uninspired career montage.  Slow and uninviting, I'm already bored and we're two minutes in.  We get a very brief segment on him growing up.  The narration (Paul Steigerwald....who?) is abrasive.  It's like a second rate play-by-play guy trying his hand at voiceovers.

Mario is drafted, there's some immediate marketing of Mario......

and then goals.

His first goal.

More goals.....and still more........and still more.  This is long and slow.  The music is terrible.

We hear from Mike Lange (one of very few interviews...which by the way - none include Mario, not one single interview) and he talks about how Mario had the ability to see things happen in slo-mo.

And back to the goals.  Lots of them.  No rhyme or reason.  Just goals.

We get a brief snipit of Canada Cup '87.  They cover the "5 goals, 5 different ways" game.  And then they start working things year by year.

1989/90 he gets back pain.  I have pain too....and am playing through it as well.  He goes on an insane points streak.

Zero dynamics in this 'doc'.  I'm now just counting down the minutes.  I think I've heard the call "...beaten like a rented mule" about 50 times.  This video is like beating a dead horse.

A couple Stanley Cup wins.  A blip called Hodgkin's and his return.  They shove goal #500 in with a bunch of other random goals....cause that's how important it is.

1996/97 he scores a goal on his last shift before retiring.  A goal to start his career and one to end it.  Nice.

Oh....there's more.

Jersey retirement.  Hall of Fame entry and then he becomes the new owner of the team a couple years later.  This was the birth of the return.

In 2001, Mario makes his triumphant comeback.  And we celebrate with another montage of goals.

2002 Olympic gold medal, 2004 World Cup and then a focus on his charity work.

No Sid the Kid since this was put together before that.

I will repeat....this is the worst sports documentary that I have ever seen. I'm not even going to justify it with my list of reasons.  If you want a bunch of Mario Lemieux goals, this dvd is for you.

This movie is "The Worst.  Ever."

0.5 out of 5 (and I'm being generous).

No reviews for this 'doc'.

Well.  I feel very unsatisfied.  After a very successful month, I am having a very difficult time coming to terms that this will be the exit movie I review.

So much so that I'm calling the audible now.

31 in 31?  A complete month?  You bet!!!

Up next - Thrilla In Manila

1 comment:

  1. Haha! Nice review brother! I guess not all sports 'docs' are gold. Don't worry. The 'Thrilla' will not disappoint.