CARDBOARD PHOTOGRAPHY - This Photo Theme Is Worthy Of The Bike Spokes

Let's start the week with some Cardboard Photography. It's been a while.

There was a time in the 70's and 80's where hockey card pics would be a "what you see is what you get" situation. There weren't a ton of photo opportunities (maybe a couple games in some instances) for some of the shutterbugs to capture all the players, so the options and varieties would be quite limited. It's why we saw a lot of backup goalies doing warmup laps with towels around their necks.

These days, I feel like there are countless photos to choose from when putting a player's card together - and it's gotta be infinitely easier for everyone. Photos are digitally stored, accessible at anytime and anywhere. The quantity of pics to choose from must be overwhelming at times...you aren't thinking about the costs of film or having to develop your rolls before submitting. It's just "here...dig through this pile".

So the ability to get the best of the best is there...right?

Not always.

This stunning snap comes from the 2023/24 Upper Deck Series 2 set. This is the flagship offering for UD and has been a staple for set collectors since the early 90's.

Now, I know Mike Matheson can often be the buttend of some jokes...but this card feels like there's a bit of a dirt kick going on. 

He's gone sliding into the net, back to the netting and seemingly focused on......something. It is one of the more unflattering photos I've seen on a card in some time.

But as I was sifting through other singles from the set, I couldn't help but notice a trend.

Fabian looks like he's just flat out falling down. And his face shows more panic or concern than it does grit and determination.

Did someone give him a little hipcheck just moments before?

Is Palmieri stretching before the game? Is he diving for a puck? Did he fall?

What is happening here?

Marner looks like he hit the boards awkwardly...all by himself. The scorpion look on a forward isn't flattering.

This is not the kind of superstar photography I'd like to have on my cards.

Sure, it's "low angle"...but there are better ways to do it.

Exhibit A....now this is a stunner of a photo! Beautifully framed, wonderful depth. So many great details to check out.

Why can't more hockey cards be like this? Is the selection just not there? Doubt it.

Just because somebody is following the puck, doesn't make it a captivating photo.

And switching to a landscape layout does not help.

Toffoli looks like he's scrambling.

Geez...this is not the "up close and personal" vibe I'm looking for.

Nope.

OK...this was a planned shot...right? Jake posed for this.

Even Matthews can't escape the wrath of the "I've fallen and I can't get up" theme.

Man, sucks to be a Leafs team collector with this product.

It's shocking to see how many photos from this set just fall completely flat in my eyes. This is a first for a flagship product. I can't think of another example where this many shots just don't cut it.

Am I wrong here? Do these pics do anything for you? Sure, it's a bit "outside the box"...but it's too much of a reach for me. Give me slick looking action shots, closeups of faces that show some emotion, unique moments that grab a viewer, or even a reflective moment...a posed shot with a smile. Something less messy.

If anything though, these cards made me stop...look, and even post about. So there's that.  :)

RAISE THE CUP - Worst Card Design Ever

I hate to say that I've let my 'Raise The Cup' project get a little disorganized.  Part of what I wanted this blog to be way back in the day was a vehicle for me to become a little more in check with what I'm collecting, where things are and what I actually have in my various pcs.

One of the things I'm determined to do before the end of the year is really get my card collections in order.  Get the closet dialled and shed some of the extra base and unwanted (and untraceable) cards out of the way.

But I was in a scanning mood a few days back and I saw a number of Cup raisers that just screamed to be entered into the digital world.

And by screaming...I mean "What the heck is this crap??!!!"

I can easily say that these 15/16 SP Authentic All-Time Moments cards are some of the worst design layouts I've ever laid eyes on.

I don't know about you, but I would balk at slapping a big sheet of black over nearly half of the card.  I can't believe that the designers at Upper Deck decided that sacrificing the photo was the best option so they could throw some text on the front of the card.

Nah.....I don't actually need to SEE Sakic and Roy (hey Bourque is in there too...I can see half his head).  You've so eloquently described the setting with your words.

It's abysmal.

This one is slightly.....SLIGHTLY better.  But still - one heck of an ugly card.

And what is with the border?  I was trying to figure out if there was a printing error along the bottom.  Was my scanner already crapping out?

No....it's supposed to look like that.  It's like a filmstrip.  Cuz, you know.....they're silver - right?

I almost don't want to include these into the project (and I guess I do have the ultimate say over that) but I think deep down I want to include them.  Just so I am reminded that a bad decision should never be justified.

They're so ugly that I've got to send them.....


PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT..............

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!

OPINION - What Kind Of Rinky-Dink Operation Is This?

Alright.....I normally don't launch into a big "this sucks" rant when it comes to things.  Or at least I try not to.

I can appreciate that companies do their things, sellers do their things and collectors do their things.  To each their own.

But when I saw this card pop up on the open market today.....I just had to share my thoughts - about all of it.

NOTE:  The card scans come from ebay.  I do not own this card.

Leaf Trading Cards has, for the past year or so, taken over the "In The Game" releases, utilizing their name, logo and concepts.  We've seen In The Game Used, Superlative and now (most recently) Stickwork.

I thought the first incarnation of Stickwork was a decent product.  A great concept and some solid execution in certain areas.  But there was definitely room for improvement in my books.

This year, I've been less than impressed with what I've seen from the Linden front.  Your typical double player, triple player, quad player, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Nothing that really makes me go "wow"......

....I mean in a good way.

Wow.

What an ugly card.

This Nameplates piece is currently up on ebay for anyone who wants to shell out the asking price.

I should be super-pumped as it's Trev's first nameplate card that I've seen .  But the number of things (IMO) "wrong"  with this card just turns it into something I can't wait to forget.

I get that Leaf doesn't have an NHL license and are therefore unable to use logos.  But rather than airbrushing out the crest and making it look like Linden is the captain of the practice squad, why not just zoom in a little more on the photo and have the cut window cover where the logo would be?

And "great" cutting job on the stick itself.  Off-center cut on the sides and top makes it looks like a practice job.  And why could they not just extend the stickpiece so that it tucks nicely under the cut window?  I have the huge urge to just pick that Linden sliver right off the card and fling it across the room.

And the overall design concept (or lack thereof)?  What the heck?!!  Who is in charge there?  Player name is off balance with the card itself, "basic" would be an understatement when it comes to the design elements on the front, empty space galore and a gold paint pen 1/1 just to top it off.

At least the back of the card pairs nicely with the front.....but that's not a good thing.

It's truly disappointing that a card that should generate a ton of excitement (the first of it's kind for this player) gets such a poor effort in design execution.

And to top it off.....and I'm sure I'll never land this card now if the seller reads this....the asking price.

A cool grand - in US dollars of course.

I laughed out loud when I saw that.  A fifth of his asking price might....MIGHT get me to think about it.  But even then, the exchange rate is just brutal for a big ticket card.  And I'm not looking at it from a "lowball" standpoint.  Having collected and paid for hundreds of Linden cards over the years, I'd like to think I have a bit of history when it comes to the value of his cardboard.

Linden Tax.......welcome back.  Ha.

Whoops.....sorry.  I can't believe I referred to this abomination as a "big ticket" item.

I'm just shaking my head all around.

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Greg Maddux

It's been a long time since I've shared a lovely card moments before putting them in the bike spokes.  Not that there's been nothing out there to share (ITG Used and their Esposito episode...I'm looking at you and your friends), but I just haven't taken the time to scan anything up.

But when I participated in some pack ripping at the monthly trade night, I found a gem that not only needed to be in the spotlight, it reminded me of one of the all-time great crappy cards in my collection.

Years ago, I shared a gem of a card from a terribly ugly set concept - Be A Player Signature Series Golf.  This Paul Kariya offering might go down as one of the worst hockey cards ever.

What I found even funnier is that not too long ago I decided to part with it. Seems someone is legitimately doing the set.  Hey....to each their own.

But now I can say that I have replaced it with something equally as offensive.  Yes, it's baseball....but it's still golf.

2015 Topps Stadium Club

Greg Maddux #259

Holy crap, I don't know what's worse...the fact that this guy is one of the all-time greatest pitchers in Major League history, or that Topps decided to use THIS photo in their product release.

There are a ton of great photos used in this set.  Paul Molitor, George Brett (fave pic) and Derek Jeter are perfect examples of what a card photo should be.  Greg chipping from the bunker is not.

Maybe I'm a little more sensitive because it's Maddux - my all-time favorite pitcher.  He was dominant as a Cub and I hated to love him as a Brave, but the numbers don't lie.

And it's a shame he wasn't the first player to ever be inducted to the Hall Of Fame unanimously (some people and their silly shenanigans...sheesh).

But to honor his accomplishments with a golf pic straight out of the 90's does him no justice.....and makes the decision easy.

For the disservice in honoring one of the greatest pitchers - ever......


PPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES - PK Subban

Yup.  PK's not invited to the All-Star game and now one of his cards is destined for the rear tire.

You read that right Brian - PK's goin' to the spokes.

And can you really blame me?  After all he's a part of one of the worst insert sets of all time.

(maybe Fleer Ultra should get the nod instead)

Circle and Rectangle.

That's not the name of the set....but it might as well be.  It's better than the red foil lettering you can barely read.

For those of you still guessing, it says "Gongshow Grinders".

Really???!!!!!

That's the best you could come up with?

Gongshow?

Let's take a look at what Urban Dictionary refers to a gongshow as...

Ha ha.  Fairly accurate.  Thank you Sergeant Dangles.

In fact, that gives me an idea for what the set should be renamed as...

"S#!+storm".  I like it.

But sadly....there's more.

Check out the back of the card....

Big Circle, Little Logo.

Hey, I just made up another insert set name.  You can have them both for free Fleer.

Seriously, what's the point of this card back?

I've got no words.

I even asked my wallet card what he thought of the offering...

Oscar feels there's a lack of 'fro on Subban and that in itself is a gongshow.

Talk about big circle, little logo....man that 'fro is sah-weet.

All that said, this card should (and will) receive a premium value when and if the time comes to trade it.  It's so rare, so valuable, so stinky.

Fleer......you've put one in the record books.

PPPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!!!!

I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS

I would just like to begin by saying that this is not an April Fool's Joke.

There are times in a person's life when decisions need to be made.  Decisions that are bigger than a simple collection.  Some cards in a box and some junk in a closet.  Sometimes those decisions are difficult....but they are for the greater good.

That's why this post might be the toughest one to write in the five years that I have been blogging.




(BEGIN SOMBRE MUSIC)

There are items in my personal collection that (I guess you could say) mean more than others.  They have sentimental value, they may have been gifts or tough chases.  Sometimes they are bigger ticket items or those rare gems.

I smile just a little more when I see them in the binders or take them out of the boxes to look at.  They provide great memories.

Rarely do I part with any of these items.  In fact, for the most part, they are off limits to others.  And respectfully, nobody has ever asked me to part with an item in my personal collection.

But today I was presented with an opportunity that I just couldn't turn down.  Will I reget what I did?  Maybe.  And that's why I'm typing these words.  It's just that important.

I happened to stumble on a thread posted by a fellow hobbyist who is collecting one of the most challenging sets I think I've ever seen.  This person was showing off a recent pickup.  The moment I saw the card and read the story, I knew that I would have to dip into my vault and part with a cherished item in my collection.



(DEEP BREATH)

Yes, it's the Paul Kariya golf card.

I know, I know.....you must think I am crazy or just not thinking straight (and maybe that's the case).......but sometimes there are things out there bigger than a crappy looking golf card.  Like helping someone else build the set.

That's right - someone is actually building the 100-card set.

For those of you who have not been following my blog for all these years, Paul was essentially the inspiration, the nucleus, the seed of what has become one of my favorite side projects.  To The Bike Spokes!

It was many moons ago that I saw this gem and decided it was worthy of it's own post.  For those of you who have not read it (or would like a refresher, here it is).

So when I found out that there was somebody who was actually building this set, I knew I had to sacrifice.  It's for the greater good.

I'll miss you.....jeans-laden, lazy golfer guy.  I'll miss you.....camo-themed background.  I'll miss you.....silly mustache side photo.

(TEAR WIPE)

Parting is such sweet sorrow.  (That's from a book).

As much as this pains me to do, I know that there will be someone happy on the other end of this (I think).  And I'll always have this post.  This scan.

I feel like I'm just rambling now.  This stream of consciousness thing is getting a little out of hand.  I need to reel it back in.

Ooooooooohhhhhh.....hockey player themed fishing set.

Dibs!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!! - Nighty Night

It's not that I haven't come across ugly cards over the past year....I just was too lazy to scan them.

So says the guy who has taken the better part of a year to add to the 'Spokes' collection.

I have no excuse - nor do I have any apologies.  It's my blog.  Ha ha!

But when I saw this card at the local card show this past weekend, I thought it was worthy of the .50 cents, the time to scan and the chance to catch up with all of you who love looking at terrible cards.

And this card is terrible.

First of all, let me just state that this is not a hockey offering.  It's football. Canadian football at that.  Don't judge (at least based on our card making skills).

In addition to the brutal photo slapped on the front of this "Pro Action" card (and by the way....this card is neither 'Pro' nor 'Action'), the card has zero information on it.  Nothing on the front to indicate what I'm looking at (or supposed to see), nothing on the back but a big cartoon telling me to "Test Your Football IQ".

Hey, my IQ is being tested by trying to figure out what year this card is from, what players I'm looking at, and what teams are playing.

It's card #130.....that's all I know (that and a guy by the name of Joe Zuger has the best career punting average ever in the CFL.....thanks Mr. Cartoon Guy).

Is this a night game?  That would explain a lot.  I know somebody numbered 65 is doing something.  I'm also betting there's a football in the picture.

Man.....this must've been an awesome set to build.  I'd love to see what the rest of the offerings look like.  Can you imagine?

So I decided with my super-advanced photo-editing skills that messing with improving this photo was in order.

Hey....I can kind of make out something.  There are legs.....running.  .....there's a goal line.  ......maybe a scoring play (after all it is a "Pro Action" card).

I dunno.....I've given up hope.  If any of you have magic powers or a Canadian football price guide maybe you can fire off some information.

Until then, I'm putting this card to bed.  Nighty night!

PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!! - Hey....Leggo My Jersey (x4)

I was sifting through some of my old 90's base cards the other week and came across four beauties that will get shared billing in this installment of 'To The Bike Spokes'.

With everything from technology to player access to heightened expectation, hockey cards have gone from an odd mixture of uninspired photos to what could be seen as either an amazing collection of pics or another uninspired trip around the block.

Four cards from the mid-90's were screaming out in their uniqueness though and I thought I'd share.  Mainly because I don't think you'd see anything of the sort these days.

1993/94 Leaf

#328 Brian Benning

A well placed stick into the jersey of Benning creates this interesting photo that made me do a double-take the first time I saw it.  Penalty or not, it really separates itself from the rest of the cards in the set.

I don't know if it was intentional to use this photo or if it was the only one of Benning that was available at the time, but I thought it looked unique.

Until I saw this one...

1993/94 Parkhurst

#117 Bernie Nicholls

Well, I guess every type of photo is open for imitation.

This Bernie Nicholls (yes....he did play for the Devils) shot created the same type of distraction for me when I saw it.  I didn't necessarily think it was a cool pic, but more of an interesting coincidence.

And then there's this one....

1995/96 Leaf

#282 Johan Garpenlov

Yup....another Panther.  Why use a stick when you can just grab with your mitt.  I'm pretty sure this should've been called for two minutes.

It just looks really weird to see this logo-less jersey staring at you.  What a messy photo.  You can't really call it an action shot but rather somebody trying to stop the action shot.

And since we're on the theme....

1995/96 Upper Deck

#28 Yanic Perreault

Why not.  We don't need to see that Kings logo.

I wonder who the crafty Canuck is that's wrecking.....I mean, enhancing this shot?  As a nice little bonus for Yanic, check out what the goalie is doing with his stick.  Yowzers!

They're odd-looking, unique, one-of-a-kind photos...but that's not always a good thing.  I think that's why you don't see photos like this on cardboard anymore these days.  Action shots are just that - Action!  These are just flat out silly.

And for that, you quartet of crazy....

PPPPFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Gary Bromley

Saw this card staring up at me from the dollar binder at the last card show.  Had to pick it up so I could share my disgust for it with you.

There's been a recent surge in vintage cards within the hobby.  Vintage designs, vintage players, vintage equipment.  And I'm first in the line of guys who love it.

But vintage does not always mean cool.  It should - but there are times when stuff from the 70's are, well ...........lame.

Here's one example.

2011/12 Panini Certified

Throwback Threads

#6 Gary Bromley

Now I shouldn't have to explain it, but I will (because I'm terribly disgusted by it).

Panini, you guys used the wrong photo for this card.  Period.

If I wanted to see some Glen Hanlon helmet action, I would just sign up for his fan club.

 He's got quite the lid.  Retro - yes.  Vintage - yes.  Cool - NO!

Go back to that card for a minute.  See that photo faintly in the background.  That's the photo (or one like it) to be used.  One showcasing his wicked mask.

Look at that.  Everything about this photo reeks of awesome.  The jersey, the pads, the blocker, even the dude in the crowd and of course - the mask.

What the reasoning could be for using the "lame" photo is beyond me.  All I know is - it's a bad card, I don't like it and I'm here to share that feeling with you all.

There....I feel better.

Actually, just a second.

Now I feel better.  See how cool this card looks.

For the record.  Simmons, cool.  Bromley, not cool.

Panini - bad.  Let's try to maximize what's so intriguing and special about the 70's.  And let's try not to nail up wood panel walls and lay down shag carpet.  She's not so good.

I'm calling this look "The Bromley".


Panini, for dropping the ball on what could have been a fantastic card (and for making me relive some of the nasty times as a kid)......

PPPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!! - Bruce Driver

There are very few occasions where a hockey card can be both a desirable find and ready for the dumps.  I think I may have found one of those cards.

Photography is all about capturing a split second moment in time.  Photos do something that video can't touch - it makes you stop and smell the roses.

Or in this instance - stop and curse your stick manufacturer.

1994/95 Topps Stadium Club

#35 Bruce Driver

At a time where Easton Aluminum sticks were all the rage, this card featuring Bruce Driver and his broken blade is giving me nightmares about how many dud blades I've crossed paths with.

While I like the look of shock and disappointment in the eyes of Driver and the "nearly pulled tooth" effect of that blade dangling on the stick, I can't help but notice that massive Easton Aluminum logo along the shaft and ultimately terrible photo selection for a hockey card (yes....hockey cards should highlight the positives and benefits the player brings to his team - not broken sticks).

Once again I am left to ponder if this was the premium option for the guys in the edit room.  Surely there's a shot of Bruce where he's chasing down an opponent or ripping a snap shot top corner.....or even just coasting around the ice.

A cool photo.....but a bad hockey card.  For that reason Bruce Driver,

PPPPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!! - Petr Nedved........AGAIN!

Poor Petr Nedved.  He's getting more hobby love for all the wrong reasons.

This is the third time he's appeared here on this blog and the first two times were not pretty.

1990/91 Pro Set Series II

#643 Petr Nedved

Granted, it is a Pro Set card, but man you've got some bad luck going when it comes to hockey cards Petr.

Is it some sort of 'mini-me' theme they tried?  You look like you're about 3 feet tall.  Add to that, I get more of the guys in the crowd than I do you.

Cropping must not have been a high priority when it came to card production back in the day.

And look at Nedved's face.  I'd be pretty ticked too if I had this kind of card.

Oh and by the way, all the cool guys tuck their shirts in the back.  Didn't you get the memo?  I guess not.  You were probably prancing around in your pyjamas.

I'm seriously considering changing the name of these posts to "The Petr Nedved Award".  He's definitely earned it.

Because you just won't go away...

PPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!! - Craig Muni

Had a bit of time this afternoon to slowly clean up the explosion that is my office.  Over the past couple of months it has turned into a haven for paperwork, receipts, bills and of course....hockey cards.

A few Lindens were carefully placed into their proper spot and traders were stored into boxes.  I even updated my wantlist...just not the one on my wantlist site (I've all but abandoned it).

In addition to sorting, I managed to scan a few items.  Gotta blog eh?

So, without further ado, let's see what I've come up with.

1994/95 Pinnacle

#143 Craig Muni

Glorious photo isn't it.  It just SAYS "Craig Muni".

Now is he tripping over the goalie, reacting to taking puck or a stick to the face or just full-on tripping over the flat ice?  Maybe all three.....it is Craig Muni after all.

In all seriousness, Muni does have his name on the Cup.....multiple times.  I can't say that about my guy.

But he doesn't have a card quite like this.

It does show off the jersey quite well though.

He would definitely be sent home from Dancing With The Stars or America's Got Talent.

For your "grace and style" Craig Muni...

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Bruce Gamble

Time to show off another beauty from the infamous 71/72 hockey release.

You may remember this wonderful card (truly worthy of Bike Spokes immortality).

I don't know who was calling the shots that year, but some of the decision making was absolutely outstanding.  From glued on heads to terrible facial expressions to bad player re-sizing, this set has it all.

But the card I will be featuring this time has that "attention to laziness" I look for when wanting to throw something in the spokes.

1971/72 Topps

#104 Bruce Gamble

First of all, Bruce Gamble looks more like my uncle than a pro athlete.  Secondly, someone get this guy a bib!  He spilled something on his jersey.

It's pretty clear what was trying to be accomplished, but my question is - WHY?

Yes, Bruce played for the Maple Leafs the previous season.  Yes, he moved on to Philadelphia.  For whatever reason, they don't want to show his old logo.  For whatever reason, painting a Flyers jersey on him seemed like a worse idea than this debacle.

If you're going to 'remove' a logo, at least do it with a little, tiny bit of discreetness.  But no....a big blob of blue (dark blue) must go in its place.  It makes Gamble look like he plays on a beer league team.

What are they trying to hide?  Or do they actually think that the hockey card buying public is going to gloss over this?

Whatever the reason, it's not good enough to defend the hideous card front that is Bruce Gamble (sorry dude).

When doing nothing is your better option, you know that you're on the wrong track.

Bruce, for your terrible attire......

PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Oh No......Not Again!

A Jaromir Jagr card has made another case for the bike spokes. But this time, it's not because of anything he did.

It's not the 'ultimate mullet' or his scrawny, lanky frame. Heck, in the photo, it's not even the cheesy warmup gear he's wearing or the fact that he's just sitting on the bench looking bored.

No, Jaromir's card from the 97/97 Leaf Preferred release needs to go to the bike spokes for one reason.

Petr Nedved!


And the return of 'The Pyjama Clad Sniper'.

That makes not one.....not two.....but THREE different cards showing him in his 'next to naked' garb.

And it's cameo pyjamas to boot. That's just awesome. How sad is it that Jagr actually looks like the normal one in the photo? And that's not saying much. He's wearing an inside out snow coat, hockey pants and sweats. Flipflops or sneakers with no socks? I just gotta know.

These guys trade wardrobe secrets. I guarantee it.

If I find another Nedved card with him in his faded blue undies, I think I will permanently change these post titles from 'To The Bike Spokes!!!' to 'The Petr Nedved Award'.

He definitely should be handed something.....anything.

Petr, for refusing to rid me of your crazy clothing.....

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Mark Messier

Before I begin, I'd like to say that

ALL MARK MESSIER CARDS CAN GO STRAIGHT TO THE BIKE SPOKES!

There, I feel better.

Especially after what I witnessed at Traders Night a couple days ago.

I always get a little excited at any new product releases that include Trevor Linden. Even more so when the company doesn't go gangbusters with insane parallel numbers.

2011/12 Panini Crown Royale is just that. A nice, reasonable amount of cards to chase with a couple ultra-sharp pieces of cardboard to drool over.

So you can understand that I was excited to see any sort of Canucks jersey come from the numerous packs being ripped throughout the night.

That was until my eyes caught this atrocity.

2011/12 Panini Crown Royale
#103 Mark Messier

To put it bluntly - having 'Mark Messier' and 'Vancouver Canucks' on the same card is just a huge NO.

I don't care if you can't really see the jersey logo, I know it's there. And I hate him for it.

And that goes for you too Mike Keenan.

Put him as an Oiler, put him as a Ranger. And as much as I loathe it, put him with the Stanley Cup in 1994. But you do not - I repeat - NOT put him in a Canucks jersey.

Nothing else needs to be said.

PPPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Roman Hamrlik

Sometimes hockey cards give you a glimpse of your favorite players off the ice. Case in point...

Paul Kariya

Doug Gilmour

Ouch. Most times.....that's not a good idea.

Here's another one that creates the argument "Should I stop collecting?"

1996/97 Upper Deck Be A Player
#133 Roman Hamrlik

Roman Hamrlik.....or should I say Rico Suave. What is this card all about?

Do I really need to know that he towel dries his hair? Do I need to know that he likes to pout his lips? Or maybe he just bit his tongue. And do I need to know that he likes to stare blankly into camera lenses?

If I were a mind reader, I'd say he's thinking "Concentrate....... concentrate..... look at my nice white towel."

How this became a hockey card is beyond me. It makes me appreciate the other cards in the set where the jersey logos have been completely airbrushed off. They actually look nice now.

Oh, by the way, Rico prefers heavy metal music....particularly Metallica. I'm sure they're happy to hear that.

Rico, for your absolute non-hockey pic, this is an easy trip....


PPPPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!

(actually, this might just bypass the binder and go straight in the trash. It's one creepy looking picture)


The real Rico Suave. Separated at birth?

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Henrik Sedin

Last night was the final 'Trade Night' before Christmas.....and it was one of the most productive when it came to my collections.

There was some ever-present generosity (which is always much appreciated), a couple 'pack wars' victories and a few good ol' fashioned trades (yup, they still exist).

It was really just simply a fun time and it will give me numerous blog post subjects over the next week or so.

This first one is of a card that made me do the 'head tilt'... kind of like when a dog is pretending to listen to you...


Seriously. I was trying to figure out if the card was made as a joke, or if I happened to miss something.

You tell me...

2011/12 Upper Deck Series 1
#13 Henrik Sedin

Last time I checked, you guys lost the Stanley Cup Finals. You don't 'win' second place.

Is it me, or does this card just seem weird?

I can just hear Henrik chanting "We're number 2! We're number 2!".

He'd be holding something over his head....if he had won anything.

This photo just brings back bad memories. Why go there Upper Deck. Why go there.

For the simple fact of forgetting who actually were the winners....this card get's the mighty

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Dominic Roussel

Well, tonight was the second hockey draft in two nights for me. To summarize how I feel about my picks, I will show you this card.

1995/96 Score
#182 Dominic Roussel

Now, at first this card might look like it belongs in the "Cardboard Photography" section. After all, it's a cool glove hand flash.

But take a close look at what's in his glove.

That's right - nothing.

And take a look at his face.


His eyes are looking behind him...directly into the net.

Yup, it was a 'swing-and-a-miss' for me when it came to my hockey pool selections.

I won't bore you with all of my picks. Instead, I will let you cringe at some of the names that came out of my mouth.

Martin Brodeur (not so bad.....if it wasn't for the fact that Cam Ward was still available).

Sheldon Souray (is he still playing? I hope so).

Jaromir Jagr (let's just say that the groans were mighty - throughout the room).

Ville Leino (not in a million years did I expect to pick him).

And that's just from Tuesday's draft. Here's some goodies from tonight. (keep in mind, I picked 14th out of 14.....not fun)

Sheldon Souray (no joke....I decided to double my pleasure).

Travis Zajac (um yeah, he's out for a couple months....nice job in your research).

Steve Mason (the goalies went quick and he was the best of the leftovers...unless you want to count backups. I should have considered one of them).

Anze Kopitar (not necessarily a bad pick, but when your top two guys are Kopitar and Mike Richards....you're hoping that the Kings have a huge season). 'One' and 'two' they are not in my books.

Needless to say, I am sitting here looking at my picks with palm clearly in face. Let's hope for a crazy season.

So with that, Dominic Roussel, and your lack of keeping your eye on the puck.....

PPPPFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Tom Kurvers

What makes a great 'In Action' photo? Is it the feeling of fury or energy in the shot? Is it the capturing of 'the moment' right before or during a great scoring opportunity? Does the emitting of emotion or drive help the shot?

Well, this photo could then be considered an 'action' shot...

1991/92 Parkhurst
#112 Tom Kurvers

There's a lot going on in this photo, so let's break it down.

There's no less than three Islanders in this photo. All of whom are seemingly fixated on something other than the puck. There also is a cameo from a Los Angeles Kings' knee.

Kurvers, the focus of the card, seems to have neglected the fact that the camera is on his left side and not the right.

Poor Glenn Healy. He is the lucky recipient of a Kurvers groin in the goalmouth. And Kurvers himself seems to be kissing some crossbar. The guy in the background seems ready to knock the goal off its moorings at a moment's notice.

All of this adds up to a very messy and unwanted 'action' shot.

While I can appreciate Parkhurst's attempt at improving the photography on its cardboard, I don't think this is what hobbyists had in mind.

And too bad for Kurvers...he was on a very limited number of hockey cards in his NHL career, it doesn't help when the backside of your jersey is the focus. I wonder what he says when kids come up to him to get this card signed?

I love how that puck just sits there (for an eternity) while everything else is going on.

Goal or no goal? Maybe the puck bounced in for the game winner.

To the debacle in the crease and the lack of photo quality control...

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

To The Bike Spokes!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!! - Bernie Wolfe

Goalies are a rare breed. Eccentric, borderline crazy and unique characters. Some wear their emotions on their sleeve while others keep it calm and cool between the pipes.

Some are crazy addicted to routine while others workout and stretch like it's nobody's business.

Then there's Bernie Wolfe.

1978/79 Topps
#81 Bernie Wolfe

(insert some cheesy 70's theme music....like Sanford & Son)
It appears that he ate one too many hamburgers before the game. Or he's misplaced his wallet. Or he's doing his "It's Pat!" impression.

Maybe he took a puck in the gut. Just look at his eyes....they seem to reflect discomfort.

Oh.......maybe he's got to.....

Let's hope not.

Bernie was in the nets for 25 games the previous season with the Capitals. You'd think there would be something else out there to slap on a hockey card.

Even his mask is generic and boring. One of the few fibreglass masks that don't impress me at all.

What's sad is that this card is Wolfe's final piece of cardboard in the NHL. What a lasting impression.

Bernie, for your stomach-ache of a photo (I'm feeling a little nauseous myself)...

PPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

TO THE BIKE SPOKES!!!!!!